Everyone has heard some really weird things walking around the halls of Reagan, and most wish they would have written those things down.  We did.

• “You can’t leave the socks behind.  They’re the only reason why I’m here.”
• “Just split the coconut and be done with it.”
• “You’re not my mama.”
• “I’m diddly dang done with you and your stupid requests.”
• “If she forgets the diaper bag, I’m screwed.”
• “So my cat died today.”
• “Slipping on banana peels is a real problem, and I think I should bring attention to it.”
• “You are single-handedly the biggest stressor in my life right now and I would like it if you went away.”
• “So I’m going to run up to him and kick him in the throat.  That’s the plan.”
• “Sam Pucket is my mom.”
• “Just because I’m Indian doesn’t mean I can’t have a boyfriend!”
• “Even a blind squirrel can find a nut in the woods sometimes.”
• “Can you euthanize a turtle?”
• “Just shove him out the window and sing Whitney Houston.”
• “Hold up, where’s Mexico?”
• “I should shave my head and speak fluent Chinese.”
• “Yo guys, I passed out today.  It was lit.”
• “What is lasagna?”
• “I like putting goat milk on my lips.”
• “No, the eggshells are still in my backpack.”
• “Fresh meat!” *bites a freshman*
• “That kid is in ISS.”
  “That kid is in ISIS?”
• “Fanta was created by the Nazis.”
• “Trump is actually Mexican.”
• “My grandma doesn’t tell me anything because she’s dead.”
• “If we don’t win this game I’m going to jump off the bus.  Remember to tuck and roll, ladies.”
• “Shoelaces are a good replacement for floss.”
• “My dog’s tail fell off yesterday.”
• “I’m a little bit taller than fun-size but not tall enough to reach my cabinet.”
• “I can understand it if you eat glass once a month, but not every week!”
• “I can’t spell ‘independent’ without the Macklemore song.”
• “Trust me, I should know.  I watch ‘Dancing with the Stars.’”
• “At the club, they call me the ‘Ramen King.’”
• “President Johnson was hot.”
• “I was either reading ‘Harry Potter’ or ‘Pride and Prejudice’ fanfiction.”